My random ramblings...: *confused*

My random ramblings...

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37v4.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

*confused*

man, i dunno... i really don't. There is something inside of me which is adament in telling me that my time in Kenmure is most definitely not over... anything but in fact. But i can't really put it into words, and if anything all it's doing just now is completely frustrating me. I have to do a presentation to the Kirk Session on Wednesday... but i'm not convinced that most of the ears there will actually be listening wholly to what i'll be saying... Is it possible for a group of Christians to be so blatantly stubborn and refusing to follow his Will and therefore his 'plan' not work out? It's a fine line i guess...

anyway i'll come back to that...
this morning was amusing - the traffic lights were doing this weird mad thing where the green light literally stayed green for like 2 seconds and then changed to red and stayed red for ages... was really amusing to watch the cars get fooled by it this morning while I was waiting for the bus...

Bible class was good - we played cereal packet pick up (which is always amusing) as the icebreaker and then Wilma did a session on the Kingdom of God which was pretty cool... my wee group rocked anyway.... then i came back 'n uploaded a load of video stuffs to make a video thing for Wednesday night to go along with my presentation... Haven't started it yet though - think i may start that now and work on it for a bit before i go to bed...

then Phil annouced to me that he's not coming on my dad's birthday weekend to the rubgy anymore... was really angry about that... and i know that Fiona will probably be annoyed coz she's been planning this weekend for what feels like forever... she first mentioned it to me in like july last year or something... but yeh, i refuse to use the overly used phrase "that's just life" because it sucks. Defeats the whole purpose of a family weekend if the whole family isn't there... *grr*

so yeh that ticked me off just in time for me to run for a bus... got to work had to do the usual of cleaning up behind the junior church before i could even set up the room for Anathallo... but the service was ok, but overran, which meant that everything else overran, and we didn't finish our debrief until after 10pm which is just nuts... the boys were running around the building while we were doing that, and a rather angry parent came to pick one of them up... *ouch* he was justified in his anger... the guys sister had gone home which out him so they of course were wondering where on earth he was... man guys just don't think sometimes!!!!!

So anyway, got back to find 3 folk from the flat sitting in the lift singing songs... which i know is justified, and they were engaged in worship... but i was sorta thinking that they were a bit selfish in going in the lift... what if Aileen needed to use it or something??? sometimes folk just don't think *rolls eyes*

Anyway, so yeh the confusion thing... i dunno. All i can say is that if more of the eldership had young people in the church then they would be looking at this whole issue differently... part of me is just getting so frustrated with the whole thing... coz Iain says its not a done deal, but then acts as if it is... It doesn't help that i spoke to 2 sets of parents tonight after the service both of which were expressing concerns about the (easy) 9 month lull of youthwork their kids are about to endure... will they hang on that long, or will they suffer without someone there to encourage them in their faith??? or (slightly better i guess) give up on Kenmure and go elsewhere?

All I can say is I don't know. I'm trying soooo hard to trust God with this, but i just can't get it out of my head that through freewill this eldership has the potential to muck up so many lives... it's just soooooo frustrating!

posted by TLT @ 10:28 pm

1 Comments:

At 10:19 pm, Anonymous said…

God made the heavens and the earth did he not? God sent his son to save mankind - yes? Kenmuir seems to be a pretty small deal with you think about it! So why doubt that he is not up to the job? Remember - God Makes No Mistakes - all the time!!!!!