My random ramblings...
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37v4.   
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Psalm 37:7
Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act' Psalm 37:7

it's funny isn't it... waiting and trusting in the Lord and waiting for him to act in his own time... It's something that we as christians should be able to do quite easily.. but it's not easy... it's not easy at all... this year i'm going to have to be doing a lot of the above... I mean i'll be finishing my course and looking for a job soon enough... Will probably have to start applying for posts just after christmas... have actually sorta already been offered a post (provisionally) and so obviously have to be taking that into consideration as I spend time with God praying over it all... But as a person who tends to get quite easily worked up when i don't know whats coming, i can see the next 9 months being 'interesting'. *hmmm*

*butterflies in stomach*

well i know that whatever happens will happen... meanwhile i have to keep my focus on God, and my current job, and the young people i'm working with... coz right now, they need me, and this is where God has me.

*hmmm* right i'm done being reflective... i'm off to watch a dvd and head to bed.
posted by TLT @ 12:10 am   0 comments
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
ooops has been a while since i last posted... have been posting on my church journal so i suppose it's not a total loss... you'd jsut have to be reading that too *hehe* Am sitting watching Xmen2 for the second night running... well sorta - i started watchin it last night but didn't finish it.... but it's a good movie *grin*

so yeah, what's been happening... well friday i went to the cinema like all day... or at least i got up late and htne went to the shops and then to the cinema, and stayed there for the remained of the day... saw 3 films... *thinks* Herbie reloaded, Bewitched and finally Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - was happy enough watching each of them although i have to say that i think i prefer the original Charlie and the Chocolate factory film... This one was a tad weird in my opinion...

Then saturday i spent most of the day doing prep me thinks...

and of course Sunday i was at work in the morning... it was the last Summer Sunday School (and almost definitely my last ever at Kenmure *yay*) spent most of my time trying to get the wee hyper kids to be quiet... i really do have a strong dislike for Childrens work... i am NOT a children's worker!!!!!! So yeah, it's over. Then spent the afternoon lying down on my bed trying to prevent a headache from coming to anything too huge... succeeded and headed to Catalyst with a couple of the young folk (and Sheena 'n George)... apparently the old worship leader resigned, which meant there was a new guy... he was ok... but the band lost him a couple of times and the folk doing the powerpoint really weren't on the ball... it was good though... and they sang 'How great is our God?' which is like my fave song of the moment... but yeah. was good.

today i've spent the WHOLE day doing prep, and then headed out to work at 6pm and didn't get back until after 11pm coz i had youth band, and then afterward had a music meeting with other folk from the church *duh*. Was an ok meeting... and if things are actually put into action this time then i think the church may move forward considerably with regards to technology and it's variety of worship... but yeah. The youth band have been given a date for leading the worship for an evening service (6th November) which is quite exciting... will be a lot of work though i reckon... but who said this job was easy?! *hehe*

yus so anyway - like i said i'm watching Xmen 2 at the mo. very good movie *grin* i guess i should be heading towards the land of nodd soon though...
posted by TLT @ 1:10 am   0 comments
Saturday, August 27, 2005
"when we face up to the glory of God we find ourselves facedown in worship" - Matt Redman

i've been thinking a lot recently for different reasons... about worship... Well at least it's something i've been passionate about for many years, and a passion that i've been sharing with the young people of Kenmure, especially over the past year or so... helping them to really come to terms with what worshipping God really means... not what tradition tells us it means, but what God expects of us as worshippers.

Right now, my heart is torn... because i think about the worship at our church in your average service and it jars with me. I know that to some people they see the music as great because it makes for a pleasant service... they know the hymns, and admittedly there is sound theology in most, if not all of those hymns... But is that good enough? surely you dont have time to let the truth that you're singing filter down into your heart while you're singing hymns... the emotion just isn't given time to rise... I was in discussion with an individual about worship in the church recently... and they claimed that modern worship essentially does not fit with our church 'practically' in that old people find it hard to stand for large blocks of songs... others just don't LIKE modern songs...

I found myself sitting agreeing with this person (well i didn't have a HUGE amount of choice) that when leading worship in church, lead worshippers need to be aware of the practical needs and preferance of the individuals who they are serving...

but in my heart my soul is just screaming "no that's not right at all!!!" Is worship not a sacrifice to God????? Is worship not something which we should be spending allllll of our energy just focusing on him... not the fact that our legs or arms or whatever are getting tired, but that we are in God's presence and that we are giving him all that we have to give??? If i'm working with young people who currently find the church inaccessible because of the current worship choice, then is it not fair that they too get their 'preferance'????? (going along this individuals thinking of course).

Hmmm... I haven't really got anything against the majority of old hymns... i tend to have more of a problem with service structure when it doesn't allow for response... I tend to have more of a problem when we're singing old hymns like 'o happy day' or the final verse to 'Amazing grace' and not ONE person is smiling, or showing any sign of emotion whatsoever.... Have we as a church totally missed the meaning of worship? If we are indeed meeting in God's presence every week and coming together in 'worship' then why is it that we fail to see the otherness of God and his awesome glory shining around us? Is it because it's not there??? no. I believe it's there... it's just as always... we're choosing to ignore it... we're not opening our hearts for God to really speak to us. As quoted at the beginning of this post... it's true that "when we face up to the Glory of God we find ourselves facedown in worship"... there are sooooooooo many exmaples of people in the bible coming into the glory of God and falling facedown in his presence... what makes us so different that we think that we're worthy of staying upright???! Do we continue to be conservative worshippers just because the pews get in your way of trying to bow down to God??? do we continue to refuse to raise our hands because the person on our left or our right would think we're weird???! Surely it's only us reaching out to God that counts?????

My question now is... In Kenmure we have a relatively good Youth Band... they aren't really into hymns (although having said that we'll be getting stuck into some of the old classics in the next couple of months) but they are becoming really free at worshipping God and just letting him move through them... the dilemma is this... if they were to lead worship in a service at Kenmure, but the congregation just aren't open to God... then what? We have a worship band that God's totally speaking to, and then the congregation just stand there gawping at them????! Either that of course, or the band remain sensitive to the congregation and the fact that due to their lack of openess they're just not getting 'into' it, and so the band end up extremely discouraged... something just doesn't add up when it comes to spectator worship.... Looking for what I want all the time is missing the point... the reason the young people like to sing certain songs is because it helps them to feel close to God... how many of the congregation can say that truthfully about any of the songs they would 'prefer'?? (seeing as they never show any emotion or signs of revelation...)

I played a particular song last night at inspired called 'facedown' as part of our meditation and prayer ministry time at the beginning of the session... and one of the individuals ended up getting very emotional and really crying out to God for help with certain issues that she was struggling with... she was open to God... that is the key - she was OPEN. It took one song... even only listening to that one song and she was aware of God's presence around her and her need of Him to help her with the things she was struggling with, and even though there was a room of other folk, she, her friend and i sat in a wee huddle praying over it all... spending some time with God... i could have chosen to ignore the situation... let her cry it out without me intervening... but God showed me a hurting soul and i knew i had to respond and show her that God was with her...

Here's another question... if that situation had happened within a normal church service, what would have happened???... let me rephrase that, coz i know that if that exact same situation had happened with the girl that i would probably have reacted the same... but if it were an adult that broke down... what would happen??? I can pretty much guarrantee that those around them would probably turn a blind eye... i mean realisitically i don't htink any minister or pastor would stop what they're doing and ask if the person would like to have someone pray with them... in fact i think in some cases such an offer would be frowned upon... another question... is this bringing us closer to God? or taking us farther away from Him? If we are not encouraging eachother to turn to him and be open to him in something as 'simple' as worship then what does that do for the rest of our lives?

well i don't think i really answered any questions there, in fact i think i probably created plenty... when is the church going to realise that God is so BIG and so AWESOME that we have no right to walk into church on a Sunday morning and just let everything that happens wash off us like water off a ducks back... it's not meant to be that way!!!! our hearts are hard to the ways of God....

i'm becoming a true believer that if you can't sing the words of a song with all your heart, then don't sing them at all.
posted by TLT @ 2:41 am   1 comments
Friday, August 26, 2005
Awake and bored...
well it's been a good day in that i've managed to get a lot done today... managed to get all my washing done, then spent most of the afternoon doing Bible Class prep and then Inspired prep and other bits and pieces for work... And then dad came for dinner which was kl.. I MADE him his dinner *hehe* which it has to be said that it was a tad annoying that we still don't have a cooker and oven in our kitchen which we are allowed to use so i was working between kitchen *duh*... but it was good and he seemed to have appreciated it which is fabby.

Hmmm then was at inspired - which was fabby tonight. Was good to have everyone back together and God really stirred some hearts... which essentially in the long run is a good thing... was a good prayer ministry session at the start anyway.

but yeah - my cousins managed to single-handedly set of the fire alarm at the hotel they're staying in tonght which resulted in like 400 guests having to be evacuated out of their beds *hehehe* very funny... i don't think they'll ever live it down!!! *hehe*

oooooh and i got the latest version of msn for mac today which means that i can have pics now *grin* which is quite fun... and oh yes... they've begun dismantling the scaffolding arcoss the street which means i'll hve no weird guys looking into my room anymore which will be nice....

oh yeah... and here's my quote for the day...
Emily (referring to the oven in her kitchen): 'Yes he tends to get a bit excited when you turn him on'....
just as well i wasn't eating at the time or i would have choked... she laughed for a bit after that *lol*

ah well... i suppose i should try sleep... blah.
posted by TLT @ 2:00 am   1 comments
Thursday, August 25, 2005
alright in the end...
well my meeting with Iain went pretty well this afternoon... was long though coz we had a lot to discussion really. But yeah, ended up going out for dinner 'n the cinema tonight with dad which was cool especially as i didn't get to see him much last week... he's nice 'n cuddly to lean on at the cinema *hehe*. He chose 'the island' and i think i probably enjoyed it more than him... was gd. although there were a lot of bits that sorta made you go 'ouch that GOTTA hurt' *lol*...

but the best bit had to be when the guy said after they fell like 200ft off a building with stuff - including a helicopter - blowing up all over the place (and survived, how realististic is that?! NOT!!!)...

"Jesus must really love you. That's got to be the craziest mess i've ever see" - was great *hehe*

but yeah so am quite tired now... tomorrow night is Inspired so it'll be good to see everyone back again. think i'm gonna do prep 'n stuff during the day... got quite a bit of admin sorta stuff to do *joy*
posted by TLT @ 12:53 am   0 comments
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
blah... why do people never reply to emails????? I've sent out 2 major work emails over the past 3 days... one of them i really needed a reply by today... but no reply. The result is that i'm going to have to fone the individual, which DEFEATS the purpose of emailing them in the first place. *grr* ah well... *sigh*

anyway - forgot to mention last night that apparently the wardens have decided that they're not happy with our new cookers and ovens, so we're currently awaiting new ones to replace them apparently *lol*... ah well... 2 new ovens in less than a week, how lucky are we!!! *hehe*

as a side note... i have to walk to Iain's today - so i'm reaaaaaaallly hoping that it doesn't start raining again like it did earlier!!! it was raining so hard it woke me up!!!!!!!! blah. anyway... off for a shower.
posted by TLT @ 12:18 pm   0 comments
it's been a bit of a spaced out day.. woke up with major cramp in my left calf last night so that's sorta left me a bit groggy.... has been a n ok day though - got some work emails etc done, so that was good, and then headed off to Broxburn with Emily etc for Gordon's wee birthday bash... was good to see him - haven't seen him in YONKs... got back really late though - so am currently tired but WIDE aweke *doh* can hear the rain too...

was looking at chucks on ebay and there's 2 amazing pairs... rare ones too... am very tempted.. still have 6 days to decide if i'm gonna get either of them tho.... i dunno - maybe.

in the mean time though - am very tired. so i thinks i'll try go and sleep... got a meeting with iain tomorrow - though no clue when i have to be there by coz i sent him and email, and as usual didn't get a reply *grrr* so i'll be foning him in the morning... *joy*
posted by TLT @ 2:22 am   0 comments
Sunday, August 21, 2005
back to the heart of worship...
am sitting watching my latest dvd purchase... Matt Redman's "facedown" - already had the cd, but the dvd had extra stuff which looked good, so i bought. *thinks to self that she needs to stop spending money*
but anyway... have also been burning more dvds... have gone through a grand total of FOUR which decided they didn't want to write properly, but did actually start writing therefore leaving me with 4 useless dvds. *doh* anyway - so i've been writing wee letters to put in with some of them... so i've got 2 envelopes ready to post so far...

*long gap where she wanders off to do other things and talk to other people, oh, and mack makes her update her GJ journal*

so what was i saying... ah yes... 12 down, 9 to go. mmm am very tired. think i was up late last night or something... also am quite thirsty - lol. yeah so anyway, not much else to report i'm afraid... my life seems to be revolving around burning dvds for the moment... and as of 2moro it will be revolving around work... although i get to go over to Broxburn for G's birthday on Tuesday *bounces* so that will be fun *hehe*

right ok.. getting sleepy...

posted by TLT @ 10:30 pm   0 comments
Saturday, August 20, 2005
new template *grin*
decided to get me a new template... and came across this rather awesome one - btw for my links 'n stuff you have to select the wee button on the top right corner... it's very small, but it's there *wink* it's a very cool layout *grin*

but yeah... STILL waiting for this compressor to finish *doh* so i'll be up VERY early tomorrow to try and get the discs started... is a time consuming business this... i'm afraid some peeps may have to wait a wee while before they get their's...

ach well... not much more to say tbh. am tired. and seeing as i'll be up at like 7am i think i'll be heading to bed early. It's gonna be a long day tomorrow - heading back to Glasgow on the train at 3:40pm so yeah, that'll be 'fun'.

posted by TLT @ 12:20 am   0 comments
Friday, August 19, 2005
much to do... but still waiting.
well yeah, still waiting for the compression to finish... still for 10.5 hours... blah. so it'll be late tonight before i'll be able to start doing anything, which kinda sucks. But i have to admit, it'll be worth it *grin*

ah well... off to take Phil into town to pick up his 'girl friend' soon.. although got a few things to do before that. woop. might go shopping while i'm in town.. we'll see *grin* sales *yip yip*

ah yes and today is Phil's birthday... he SOMEHOW managed to open my present in front of me without me challenging him to wait till dad was back later, but ah well... he gave me a huge hug for it.. *hehe* was quite funny last night actually coz i cama back and had already bought all of his pressies, and he asked me if Coach Carter was a good film coz he'd decided he wanted to buy it coz he hadn't seen it at the cinema and he thought it looked good... what he didn't know was that i had just bought it for him as part of his present just a few hours prior *hehe*.. so he was well pleased when he opened it and gave me the biggest hug *hehe*. it's all good... that's what birthday and giving pressie's is all about *grin*

but yeah.. no idea what the plans for the rest of the evening will be. I guess they'll have band practice - i dunno though.
posted by TLT @ 2:45 pm   0 comments
went up to see grandma and granda today - all were in good form... also went to see auntie annie, who again was on good form... *grin* and very tired now though... came home via tesco to get mum flowers for letting me have the car last week *grin* and got the dvd's for burning for folks... and have after a lot of faffing with the desktop computer, managed to get it going with the compressor so that i can get it onto dvd, in hopefully a bit better quality. It still got around 18 hours to go... lol. so it'll probably finish tomorrow evening some time.
but yeah... it's all gd.
but yeah - it's Phil's birthday tomorrow, so i just spent an hour making him a card, feeling totally uninspired and driving mum crazy *hehe* was much fun. am tired.
really need to go to bed... but am waiting for my computer to finish copying a dvd. am tired.
am tired.
am tired.


still tired.
blah think i may give up on waiting for this copying thing...

posted by TLT @ 1:38 am   0 comments
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
righty ho... so it's been a busy and tiring week. So i'm now home in Kemnay to recover. but it was an amazing week as usual... God showed his faithfulness to a team that really were working to depend on him for everything. I must admit that there had been the worry that with it being a young team that it might lack maturity and focus, but it was quickly clear that this wouldn't be an issue, and prayer and worship quickly became the central way to focus on God throughout the week.

But yeah, for those of you who don't know... I was on mission in Cumnock. We were working in the Netherthird area which is a poorer and more deprived area of cumnock and so the young people we were working with were mostly tough kids who were constantly acting up against each other, and the language was colourful at the best of times... BUt it was good. And God did so much... at one point 2 of the guys which had been barred for bad behaviour were asking Phil to read the bible... so yeh. was pretty exciting. Just a shame that they didn't have something like this all of the time for these individuals, coz they really need it.

There were also many pranks over the weeks... mostly guys v. girls... most amusing. oh yes... and the sweetie kidnappers... i wonder who that could have been??? *hehe*

but yeah. all round it was a great week... and i think my fave part was probably watching the younger team members especially grow spiritually and in confidence over the week. *grin* God is good.
posted by TLT @ 10:30 am   1 comments
Thursday, August 04, 2005
at home... but not for long.
well i'm home home now... but not for long... just overnight. Heading back to Glasgow with the car and with Phil first thing in the morning. *what joy* oh the things i do for mission *lol* Not much else to say to be honest... have a busy day tomorrow and then i'm off from Saturday for mission in Cumnock... so please do remember the mission team in your prayers over the week. Would appreciate it.

anyway i'm off to the lad of nodd soon *hopefully*
posted by TLT @ 10:15 pm   0 comments
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
busy day
had a really good morning with my yp today... we had a good laugh - was fun. Nice to catch up and just chill for a bit, and it was nice and comfy in Starbucks too *wink*

then had a meeting about bible class 'n stuff, which itself went really well... wasn't happy about some stuff which was said afterwards, but this isn't the place to get into that...

although I realised that after Tim hinting that he wanted to me to 'head up' Elevate in September, i realised that i'm not actually going to be here... i'm in Glasgow for NYA *oops* so it looks as though we're gonna have to change it's date which is fair enough... i'm happy whatever... hopefully Sally is gonna come speak which will be v kl if she does *grin*

ah its all good... tired though... think all the adrenalin from last week has finally left my body so i'm well whacked... bed early for me tonight i think soz that i'm compas-mentas to drive... blah.

posted by TLT @ 10:04 pm   0 comments
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
well it's been a realxing couple of days in which i've done very little... but that is good *grin*
the madness starts again tomorow though... mental.
Saw dad tonight - we went for a wee adventure to Costco *hehe* not really done much else today though...

but am quite tired *lol*

posted by TLT @ 10:05 pm   0 comments
Monday, August 01, 2005
doing a favour...
SSS was relly good yesterday... i was all up for it and bouncy along with lots of energy... which i had used up by the time i got back from church, but that was ok. And i had a short time of catching up with George and Sheena about Clan last week... was good to share stuff *grin*

ah yes... and then I headed off to help Kat at NMBC coz she had a heap of prep that she wanted me to help with for the playscheme which started today... but we didn't get back until 10pm so i was absolutely knackered!!!!! ah we, not long woken up just now, so at least i've now had my proper sleep after getting back from clan 'n stuff... back to normal now hopefully!!!! *wink*

not got many plans for today i don't think. Tidy my room and do the rest of my washing is probably as exciting as it's goin to get. Got a few letters 'n stuff to write, so i might do them. Ah the relaxing life... *grin*

oooooooh and yesterday i got Vimto *grin*

posted by TLT @ 12:29 pm   0 comments
About Me

Name: TLT
Home: Glasgow, United Kingdom
About Me: I'm a youthworker with a church in the North of Glasgow... I enjoy watching films 'n surfing the net 'n hanging out with friends...
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I'm a fan of Shaun the Sheep!

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